


Gasping for Air

by darling_dontforgetme



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 22:11:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18433130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darling_dontforgetme/pseuds/darling_dontforgetme
Summary: Reader faints during her and Cordelia's first kiss, and it terrifies Cordelia.





	Gasping for Air

When Cordelia’s lips meet yours for the first time, you forget how to breathe. Quite honestly, you forget how to do everything. You smile against her mouth, tangle your hands in her hair and pull her body closer. As Cordelia's fingers cup your cheeks, you’re hit with a rush of dizziness and your knees buckle, but she grips you around the waist and hauls you up between her body and the bedroom wall. You keep kissing, uncoordinated, trembling hands roving down her sides, and it doesn’t occur to you that something might be wrong until it’s too late. Your body sways and your feet start tingling, and then you are falling.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A cool hand strokes your cheek and you groan at the pain in the back of your head. In an attempt to get more comfortable, you arch your spine off of the hard surface beneath you, but you’re so unsteady that you just end up falling onto your right hip. You cry out as the sudden motion jostles your head, but gentle hands secure you back into your original position and rub at your temples.

“Shh, shh, love, it’s okay. You’re alright,” Cordelia reassures. You don’t know where you are or why your head hurts, why you’re so confused. Your stomach churns and you whimper, reaching clumsily for Cordelia. Your limbs are uncoordinated and uncooperative, but a strong hand grasps yours and kisses it, the other moving to brush tenderly through your hair. “I’m right here, baby, but please open your eyes for me. You’re safe.”

Cordelia could ask you to run naked through the grocery store or buy her a pet penguin, and you would do it in a heartbeat. You would do literally anything for this woman. You hate to deny her of something she wants, but your eyelids feel so heavy.

“Darling?” Cordelia asks, and now you can hear the fear in her voice, the hesitance, uncertainty. “Can you open your eyes for me? Please?”

“Mmmm,” you mumble, smacking your lips because your mouth feels dry. Her tone makes you feel scared. You know Cordelia is here with you, keeping you protected from whatever horror is on the other side of your eyelids, but her voice has betrayed her own anxiety, and if Cordelia is afraid that means something is very, very wrong. 

Removing your hand from hers, you rub at your eyes, hoping to awaken them. Cordelia has asked you twice now, and you’ll figure out a way to get them open even if you have to pry their lids apart with your fingers. It takes a lot of effort and makes the pain in your head throb in time with your heartbeat, but you manage to pop open the right one and then the left, squinting.

Cordelia’s brown eyes are wide and worried, and seeing her leaning over you disorients you even more. “Oh, sweet love, you scared me. What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I- I,” you stutter as guilty tears come to your eyes. “I’m sorry." You don’t know what you’ve done, you don’t even know what’s happening right now, but you want to take away all of the stress you have caused her.

“We were kissing, and then you just started falling,” Cordelia chokes, crying now, and her warm tears fall down onto your face to streak across your own cheeks. “I- I don’t- you passed out. We were kissing, and then you just fainted.”

You realize for the first time that you are laying on the floor of your bedroom, head resting in Cordelia’s lap. You don’t remember ever passing out before, and for a moment that uncertainty scares you even more, but then you remember your petrified girlfriend. 

“Cordelia,” you say softly, willing your body upward to comfort her despite the still present vertigo, the nausea. Her fear is your fault. Those tears on her face are because of something you have done.

Firm hands press down on your shoulders, and she shakes her head. “No, sweetheart, not yet. You need to lie here for a little while longer. I don’t want you falling again.”

Your hand reaches up to cup her cheek, and it’s awkward because of your current position, but she leans into your palm. “I’m sorry, Delia. I’m alright,” you reassure with a watery smile. “I promise, tiny love. I’m okay.”

Cordelia only shakes her head and cries harder. “You’re not, though. You lost consciousness, baby, and I don’t know why. Are you hurt?”

“The back of my head is a bit sore,” you downplay, sucking on your lower lip. You are definitely not going to scare her more by telling her it really feels like there are millions of tiny hammers pecking at your brain.

Cordelia nods. “I couldn’t catch you in time so you hit it on the way down. Roll on your side and let me look.”

Cordelia helps you turn over in her lap, and you work hard to maintain a neutral face until she’s occupied with searching for your bruise. Tender hands stroke the back of your head, but you hiss as she brushes over the sore skin.

“I’m sorry,” she soothes, fingers jerking back before cautiously beginning to separate your hair. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You grip onto her knee and squeeze. “S’okay, Delia. I trust you.”

You gasp when Cordelia delicately brushes a finger over the spot, and you wish you could see her face, see how much this is hurting her, too. “I think it’s okay, but we’ll get you some ice, aright? Do you feel like we need to go to the emergency room? What happened?”

You know your girlfriend, so you are aware that she is undervaluing how bad things really are to help calm your own anxiety. Cordelia helps you reposition onto your back, and you look up into her eyes. Preparing to argue your case against the ER, you take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Cordelia is worrying, terrified actually, but she wouldn’t have mentioned medical attention if she hadn’t already planned on taking you in to get checked out. She wants you to feel like you have a choice, but you know it is the Supreme who will have the final decision. Who knows how long you were unconscious for, giving her brain the time to come up with many different scary scenarios and think about what your next logical step should be from here.

“No-no hospital,” you say. “And I don’t… I don’t know. I felt dizzy. That’s when you caught me and pinned me against the wall, but it got worse and my feet started feeling funny.”

Cordelia’s eyes widen and she bites her lip, stifling a smile before she tilts her head back and bursts out laughing. “My word, we kiss for the first time and you’re so starstruck you forget to come up for air.”

Groaning, you cover you face with your hands, hiding in embarrassment. Did you really forget to breathe?

“Thats quite the compliment, baby,” Cordelia teases.

Refusing to look at her, you grunt in response and try to turn on your side so you can curl up and hide, but she holds you in place. 

“But let’s not do it again, okay? I’m worried you may have a concussion.” Cordelia’s voice turns serious, and she tugs your hands away from your face to peer into your eyes. “I think we should go to the hospital.”

“Corrrrdelllliaaa,” you moan, dragging out her name. “No, that’s stupid.” It’s mortifying to pass out from kissing your girlfriend, but it’s even more humiliating for other people to know about it.

“Not stupid,” she states matter of factly, leaving no room for argument. “You have an injury that needs to be checked out by a medical professional. A head injury, at that. We are going, so let’s get you up.”

You groan again, but Cordelia is already moving to help you sit. She urges you upward with strong hands on your shoulders, then wraps her arms around your middle and nuzzles into your neck. You sway a bit, but Cordelia’s grip is firm, holding you steady while you wait for your dizzy spell to pass. You can feel her hot breath against the side of your face when she kisses your ear and mumbles that she loves you, then she stands and reaches for you.

As soon as you make it to your feet, you stumble backward, black dots intermingling with your vision. Cordelia catches you and cradles your body against hers, biting her lip. “You’re very unsteady, baby. Are you sure you can walk?”

You nod, but it makes the room wiggle like those heat waves you see above the hot pavement in the summer. It’s bad enough she’s making you get checked out, and you refuse to give up your last shred of dignity by admitting that you can’t get there on your own power. Your stomach lurches again.

“Okay, we’ll go slow.” As you begin the trek to the front door, Cordelia’s eyes dart rapidly between the path ahead of you and your face. You don’t want to upset her anymore than you already have, but your head feels like you just got off the scrambler at the state fair. You keep tumbling to the side, dragging Cordelia with you.

She stops you at the top of the stairs, and you hate how concerned and afraid she looks because of you. “Let me know if you need to take a break.”

“Cordelia,” you say slowly, turning to her and cupping her cheek. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I love you.” You kiss her, short and sweet, and when you pull back she looks like she’s both in love with what you have just done and horrified because of your last lip locking experience. You hope tonight doesn’t taint your kisses forever.

It takes her a minute to recover, and then you’re making your way down the coven’s long staircase. The more steps you take, the dizzier you get and your limbs feel weak and tingly again. You try to tighten your hold around Cordelia’s waist, but your body isn’t cooperating. The feeling that you might vomit intensifies, and your vision begins to go dark.

Cordelia gasps when you suddenly pitch forward, scrambling to tug you back and lower you so that you’re sitting. The almost possibility of tumbling headfirst down the few remaining stairs has caused you to panic, and the black spots multiply with your now rapidly running heart rate. You feel hot, and you drop your head between your knees as one of Cordelia’s cool hands reaches under your shirt to stroke your lower back, the other snaking around your stomach so you don’t tip over.

“M’okay,” you mumble, still wanting to protect her, calm her. “Promise.”  
You can't see it, but you know she’s shaking her head at your stubbornness.

Cordelia kisses your forehead, lips lingering like she’s checking for fever. She waits patiently as your gather yourself, and when you finally look up, you have to smile at her. Everything about this entire situation is a mess. A small smile graces Cordelia’s lips in response to your own, but her eyes stay wide and fearful. “There are only three more. Scoot down to the last one on your bottom.”

You do as she asks, feeling like a little kid, then you stretch out your arms so she can pull you up. Cordelia takes both of your hands in her own, but she hesitates and doesn’t tug. “Maybe I should call an ambulance.”

“Hell, no,” you state, taking your hands from hers to grip onto the banister so you can pull yourself up. Everything spins again, but Cordelia reattaches herself to your side. All of this movement is only worsening the pain in your head.

“Hurts, Delia,” you breathe once you start towards the car again. “Feel like I’m gonna throw up, too.” You immediately want to take it back when her face tightens.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. We’re almost there.”

The cool night air helps a little, and Cordelia delicately eases you into the front seat of the van, strapping you in. You are so tired, but Cordelia refuses to allow you to sleep. She squeezes your hand and taps your cheek when your head starts slipping or your eyes begin to droop.

At the hospital, you fumble to unbuckle your seatbelt, but your fingers still feel funny. Better, probably because you’ve been sitting for a while and it’s given your blood flow a chance to even out, but still useless.

“Stay here,” Cordelia instructs, punctuating every word. “I will be right back. Do not get out of this car.”

You blink at her, wondering how the hell you’re going to escape the car on your own when you can’t even remove your own seatbelt. You nod anyway, assuaging her fears, and watch as struts quickly through the emergency room doors.

Cordelia returns with a wheelchair, urging you to sit, and you can’t find the strength in yourself to care about walking anymore. She pushes you slowly, but like everything else, the motion of the chair makes your head spin, so you close your eyes. Cordelia stops at the check in counter. “My girlfriend forgot to breathe while we were kissing, so she passed out and hit her head on the wall. I’m afraid she might have a concussion.”

“CORDELIA GOODE,” you scold, eyes popping open widely. Cordelia only smiles teasingly, trapping her tongue between her teeth and intertwining one of her hands with your own. “Why don’t you just word vomit all of the intimate details of our relationship? They do not need to know ALL of that information.”

The elderly nurse chuckles as she leads you to a room down the hall, and you roll your eyes. Cordelia helps you onto the bed, climbing in beside you, and the nurse brings you an ice pack for your head. Once the two of you are alone, you cuddle into your girlfriend and close your eyes.

“You can’t fall asleep, baby,” she reminds you, tilting your head up and forcing you to open your eyes.

“Wouldn’t dare,” you mumble and then yawn, eyes already drooping closed. You don’t think much about it when you feel Cordelia remove the ice pack from the back of your head, but she quickly raises your shirt and presses it onto your stomach, causing you to yelp and push away. “Shit, Delia.”

“You can’t sleep,” Cordelia reiterates, moving the cold pack back to your head.

“I don’t think that will be a problem anymore,” you scowl, and she smiles, but fear still lingers in her eyes.

“I’ll do it again if I have to.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Exhausted, irritated, and diagnosed with a concussion,- Cordelia made sure to rub in the fact that she was right- you return to the house a few hours later. You are still in pain, lightheaded, and nauseous, but nowhere near as severely as you were earlier.

Cordelia assists you up the stairs and sets you up against the pillows on the bed, making sure you scoot in a safe distance from the edge before she goes about collecting your pajamas. You watch as she changes, back to you, but your eyes admire her body as she slips her dress over her head.

“Delia?” You whisper, and she hums as she turns around, pulling her pajama shirt down over her stomach and then tugging up her pants. You wait as she crosses the room and tucks her hands into yours, then you meet her eyes and smile softly. “I hope you know how beautiful you are, tiny love.”

Cordelia blushes and ducks her head down, then she nuzzles into you and kisses the side of your neck. “Let’s get you changed, darling.”

She removes your clothes for you, replacing them with one of her oversized t-shirts and a pair of boxer shorts. You sink lower in the bed, and Cordelia’s arms wrap tightly around your middle as her body presses into your back. You turn your head to face her, and she moves in to kiss you, but then pulls back and bites her lip hesitantly. “Promise me you won’t forget to breathe this time?”

You roll your eyes for what must be the hundredth time that night, but she continues. “I’m serious, sweet girl. You really scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, rolling over and stroking her cheek. You really do feel bad for turning such a wonderful thing into a crazy situation. “I won’t forget.”

Cordelia leans down and connects your lips, and it feels just as wonderful as the first time. “Delia, love, who needs oxygen when I have you?”

“You do, goofball,” she chides, smacking your arm playfully. “Though, this is a first kiss I will never forget."


End file.
